“BAYWATCH” – Rating: 1
In a word: Junk
This is among the worst of first-run movies I’ve seen, at least the first excruciating hour before walking out.
Some might say — being among the senior set — we should have expected that. We expected silliness, we expected light comedy and sexual references. We knew this was going to be a movie aimed toward young people. But we didn’t expect garbage.
The movie is nothing more than an expose’ in skin and muscle ad nauseum, with Dwayne Johnson’s monstrous body consuming most of the screen, and then the little people along the beaches. If you like stupid dialogue, stupid plots and horrible acting, you’ll like this movie.
Hardly a scene went by that the characters were not referring to or featuring some personal body parts, male and female. The “action” scenes were pathetically contrived.
All things considered, the movie will probably be a big hit at the box office because of the target audiences who think the plethora of foul language and sex-based body appendages are a great source of humor.
I wasn’t going to waste my time writing a review, but then I figured the bad deserves ratings as well the good. Dwayne Johnson is supposedly considering a run for president. I hope he does. Anything would be better than acting.
I know, I know. He’s a big success. What does that say about us?
I give it a 1 out of 10.