“TED” – A DISGUSTING MOVIE

 

 Ted

If ever there was a motion picture that reflects the degradation of the society we now live it, it’s 106 minutes of garbage entitled; “Ted.”

The only reason I remained in chair was to write a short piece as a blog to share my disdain with readers and urge everyone not to spend one nickle to support this picture, and to absolutely prohibit your kids and/or grandkids from seeing it.

I’m happy to report that my sixteen year-old grandson in Asheville told me he attended the movie and walked out at the halfway point, in disgust. Kudos to Aidan Lytle.

Yes, the movie is rated “R” which is supposed to prevent young kids from seeing the movie, but you know how that goes. And when it comes out in DVD rentals, every child from the age of four and up will have an opportunity to view it from the couch, unless some thoughtful parents or guardians do the right thing. Most won’t.

I’m no prude. I write books with smatterings of foul language and some sexual content. Profanity is a part of today’s lexicon. But this was not only over the top, it was totally disgusting.

Mark Wahlberg, an otherwise good actor, plays a young man who grew up with a talking teddy bear, his best buddy with a Boston accent just like him. Teddy is supposed to be the laugh maker who shocks the audience with a constant barrage of “F” words, which precedes every noun as an adjective. His disgusting language is exceeded only by his sexual appetite which goes even further.

What’s disgusting? Let’s start with Mark coming home with his girl, only to find Ted on the couch with four hot chicks. On the floor is a huge pile of human manure, deposited there by one of the chicks as a joke. The frenetic scene is all about who, what and when…and how it will be cleaned up. In the theater, as the teddy bear continues to utter unfunny expletives, young teens are actually laughing and I’m wondering … why? In it’s most broad-minded context, there was nothing funny.

I know I’m over the hill and detached from the youth of today, but not that detached.

In another scene, Ted makes goo-goo eyes at another hot chick and starts flirting by simulating sex… that is, sex in every position imaginable, including oral … followed by squirting hand cream over his face with a pump jar…from which the theater kids howled.

Meanwhile, every other scene (seemingly) depicts the sweet loving teddy bear with Wahlberg smoking pot via the glass bong…having a great time, glorifying drugs, inviting every kid in America to give it a try. Why not?

So, you get the idea.

If this is what Hollywood calls humor in 2012, we have not only reached the slippery slope of morality in America, we are at the edge of the cliff. Mark Wahlberg, an Oscar nominated actor for “The Fighter” should hang his head in shame for signing a contract to play in this movie. Seth MacFarlane, who wrote and directed the film, and was the voice of the despicable teddy bear character, should be banned from the movie making industry.

But that’s not going to happen, because the movie is a box office smash, currently number three in the country, grossing over $123 million thus far…and counting. And look for “Ted 2” in another year, even more repulsive than the first.

Even more amazing than the film itself, are the professional reviewers who lured young people to sit in the seats of this cinematic tragedy by giving it high ratings. Such was the case of several reviewers, including Roger Ebert, who praised the film as the best comedy screenplay of the year.

Ebert’s reviews are as much garbage as the junk movies he praises.

That’s one old man’s opinion.

22 Responses to “TED” – A DISGUSTING MOVIE

  1. Don July 18, 2012 at 12:00 am #

    What a shame Mark Wahlberg lent his name to this disgusting movie. Even more of a shame that our movie going public would support it to the tune of $123 million. It wasn’t too many years ago that Boston banned The Moon is Blue because it included the word pregnant. How far we have fallen as a society!

  2. Jack A. Milavic July 18, 2012 at 12:17 am #

    Thank you for the comments will not waste my time and dollar to watch.

  3. Fahim July 18, 2012 at 12:36 am #

    Marshall,
    Thanks for the review, I must remember not to see this movie.

    Here are my 2 cents.

    Hollywood is a business, and a successful one at that. A business succeeds by providing things that the customers demand and enjoy (as in this case they obviously did and do). So I can’t blame Hollywood for serving the customer demand and taste.

    The fault line is with the customers. We need to ask the question why?

  4. JKR July 18, 2012 at 12:46 am #

    Was going to see it, but read up on it and crossed it off of our list. Went and saw “People Like Us”, not sure if it was PG13 or R rated, but it was a very nice flick.

  5. Jay July 18, 2012 at 1:16 am #

    I guess funny is in the eye of the beholder. And even though I have not seen the movie, I do not intend to see it. The trailers were enough for me. Never got into any movie with muppets or any other puppets……wait…..I’ll take that back…I am a huge Star Wars fan.

    I am with you on this. I do not find vulgar teddy bears funny or amusing in any way.

  6. Vincent Capece aka Vinny July 18, 2012 at 1:16 am #

    Right on., thank you for your courage,for exposing these low life creeps the filth and immorality they call Art. Parents and America please wake up now, it is later then we think. This world is in its final decent continue the fight for decency. God Bless You

  7. Larry Henry July 18, 2012 at 1:22 am #

    Ted is typical of the garbage floating out of the Hollywood sewer these days.

    They cater to the clueless, classless, and fat among us. That comprises about 50% of the population, mostly brain-dead progressives.

  8. MikeKu July 18, 2012 at 1:49 am #

    Thanks for the review. I have no intention on wasting any funds on such crap.

  9. Ashley July 18, 2012 at 2:15 am #

    I’m sure your taut review is much more entertaining than its subject.

  10. paul vincent zecchino July 18, 2012 at 2:57 am #

    Dunno, Marshall, this sounds like a nice family film – for the Manson Family.

    Isn’t this film typical of the way in which hollywood’s communist drug addicts take American’s money and then mock them for their generosity?

    Last February, based on good reviews in American Thinker, wife and I saw “Act of Valor”. We saw it shortly thereafter, again, with friends. Our friends were overcome at the conclusion of this story about men and women who daily put themselves into hell for our sake.

    Critics didn’t like “Act of Valor”. They sniffed that the acting – by real SEALS – was ‘wooden’. It wasn’t. It wasn’t acting. It was real. It was living. Real men and women did on camera what they do every day, and spoke on the level. Their goodness and strength came across.

    The hero was not some sawed-off face-maker who’s paid twenty million to act macho.

    These men and women were the real McCoy. The film’s producer made Act of Valor after being ’embarassed too many times by films he took his grandchildren to see’.

    We will purchase Act of Valor on DVD for our collection and our friends will do likewise.

    For years we’ve used the following rule of thumb as regards critics: If the likes of Ebert and his fellow effete snobs don’t like a film, it must be good.

    With films like Ted twisting kids’ minds and souls into cowflops, some still wonder why we’re in the mess we’re in?

    If you know who had a teddy bear, he’d talk like Ted….

  11. Thomas Ault July 18, 2012 at 3:27 am #

    The mental level of our young people today is where it is, in my opinion, because too many people spared the rod and let the kid learn the worst things he could, and a great deal of them from the so called “entertainment” world. For a couple of years there was not a show made without the “f” word used in every description, regardless whether is should have been there or not.
    I knew sailors that could never talk like they do in the movies.

    If we have anyone to blame, let’s start at home where we left God out and sex in, where we left caring out and let greed in. This list could go on and on but I think everyone gets the picture.

    I am fortunate to have three great grandkids being home schooled in a religious setting, and three great grandkids being raised by people with good moral fiber.Their mother teaches children in third grade, and cares about them

    Let’s keep it straight here Marshall, someone should have complained al long, long time ago about the terrible industry being used to sell filth by young actors today that they think is humor.

  12. Neal Stannard July 18, 2012 at 4:19 am #

    The trailer was enough to turn me off, Marshall…I don’t necessarily object to vulgarity in films, just GRATUITOUS vulgarity, and this film seems to reek of. Occasionally, a film can be fine despite gratuitopus vulgairity…Kevin Smith’s “Dogma” comes to mind…but that’s a very rare exeception.

    BTW, check out the next issue of “Vero’s Voice”…I know you will, since you have a piece published there. I’m now consulting editor (pay: nil), which means I write features and headlines and edit other pieces…in my movie review, I mention three recent films that surprised me by being entertaining, moving and relatively profanity-free…these are “Men in Black III” (great acting by John Brolin, playing a forty-years-younder Tommy Lee Jones), “The Amazing Spider-Man” and the whole “Ice Age” franchise. So Hollywood is NOT just turning out crap like “Ted.”

  13. Tom July 18, 2012 at 11:08 am #

    Thank you Marshall for this great report. “Ted” sounds like another piece of disgusting Hollywood trash foisted upon our civilization by twisted satanic minds bent on destroying all vestiges of morality. America was founded on biblical Judeo-Christian principles, and was once a great country, but look at us now. Look how far we have come. Should God withdraw His blessings and protection from America, when He looks and sees the state we have allowed ourselves to sink to? I mostly blame Hollywood for negatively influencing generations of our sheep-like citizenry under the guise of “entertainment”. Looking back at the history of the movie making industry, it looks like Marilyn Monroe was the crack in the dam. The porn industry now can thank her and her puppet masters for legally introducing smut to the gullible public en masse. Such goes the degradation of a society. Thank you Hollywood. Thank you so very much. If one of our enemies ever drops an atomic bomb on America, and I hope that they never do, it should be smack dab in the middle of Hollywood.

  14. reality July 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm #

    We too, won’t be seeing this movie, but Mark Wahlberg is the creator of the TV series “Entourage”, about his life in Hollywood, on Netflix uncensored. To blame “commies in Hollywood” is not right. Greed, the love of money that is the root of all evil, seems to play a huge part. We recently watched “the Help”, “War Horse”, We bought a Zoo; all worth seeing. Denzel Washington’s “The Great Debaters”, probably didn’t make much money. “New in Town”, which shows Miami AND Minnesota, and is pertitnent to the way U.S business operate, and a child, is worth seeing. “Lars and the real girl” was hard to get my husband to stay with, but it is about mental illness, and family & friends coping with it. That director famous for Star Wars-George Lucas? said it took him like 12 years to get the movie about the Tuskegee airmen made, because no one thought it would have an audience. And please also consider the Obsenity of dropping more bombs on Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia, than on Japan and Germany combined. Were you outraged when Napalm-that burns down to the bone and is impossible to remove from human flesh, was dropped from on high by American pilots? And now more of our young troops have been ordered into Afghanistan and Iraq, for 10 years?

    • paul vincent zecchino July 18, 2012 at 9:28 pm #

      Agree, it is not fair to blame ‘commies in Hollywood’, but I do and I enjoy so doing. It’s fun. Makes me feel young again! Heartily recommend it!

      No, not all Hollywood folks are commies, in fact as with the leaven that ferments the lump, prolly nottta whole lot of ’em. Just enough…

      President Reagan switched parties on account of their influence, among others. He well knew the environment, given his role in reforming Hollywood during the days of the old studio system

      There’s many fine films. We Bought a Zoo, as you say, among others, great.

      Frankly, they’ve a long way to go before they top Dr. Strangelove, The Loved One, Blue Velvet, Rebecca, and the Ghost and Mrs. Muir.

      Whenever my wife and I get to missing New England, we quickly put on Dolores Claiborne, and like that, we’re no longer nostalgic!

      Eraserhead is a fine film, heartily recommended. Anything Jesse Stone. Fracture. Taken. Quite right you are, plenty good films.

      “The information is out there. All you have to do is let it in.”
      – Jesse Stone.

  15. clearstory July 19, 2012 at 2:10 am #

    They do not make disguisting movies to lose money .They make them because they know they are going to appeal to many American’s and make money as are violent movies. It is sad our country has degraded so . However,why should we be surprised given those who value uplifting music ,fine art and reading are label intellectual’s something to be avoided at all cost. Just look at the level TV has degenerated to. Like it or not the truth is movies like “TED” are a true reflection of what we have become.

  16. sara claytor July 23, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

    Hi, Marshall…I have read reviews of Ted,etc. I kept thinking about a teddy bear and sex and it got to be too silly and it seems too far down on the decent scale. I will not see the movie.

    As always, thanks for your remarks and critical thinking skills.

    Your favorite editor ?…sara c.

  17. Amy Rosebush July 24, 2012 at 2:26 pm #

    Wow, never heard of it and I don’t want to. That is what I refer to as a “boner” movie. I do hate them so. Thanks.

  18. Olin Patterson July 25, 2012 at 8:27 am #

    Sadly American society has deteriorated to the point where public displays of vulgarity have become acceptable. Just recently, I witnessed a vulgar angry exchange between an adult male and two boys just across the street in my neighborhood. This type of vulgar language in public has become the norm rather than the exception. It is because of the moral degeneration of society caused by the breakdown of the American family and family values.

  19. Neal Stannard July 30, 2012 at 12:30 am #

    I finally broke down and did what Marshall did…I WATCHED THE MOVIE. (Okay, used a free pass rather than paying money)…and you know what? Marshall’s quite correct that certain scenes were disgusting…the profanity was gross and often gratuitous…but, just as filmaker McFarlane went over the top a number of times, so did Marshall in labeling the entire movie “disgusting.” Although they are presented in a welter of “f-bombs,” the core values of the movie are FRIENDSHIP AND RESPONSIBILITY…I don’t dismiss these as “disgusting,” and I know Marshall doesn’t either.

    I knew from the opening scene that there was some actual wit going on: several neighborhood eight-year-olds are beating up on a Jewish boy…little Johnny, the boy with no friends, shows up and asks to join in. All the other boys tell him “Get lost, Bennett!”…INCLUDING the Jewish boy being pummeled. Now THAT’S a funny and pointed skewering of the whole idea of prejudice…the kind of thing Mel Brooks would have done, but more skillfully.

    In fact, it’s pretty clear that McFarlane is aiming for the kind of humor that Brooks–and Zucker, Zucker and Abrahams, the makers of “Airplane”–put on screen thirty years ago. McFarlane isn’t as skilled as they were; bad taste humor is hard to do–the line between funny and disgusting is a thin one, and McFarlane is not so good at walking it. One example: the excrement scenes. In “Airplane,” the substitute pilot (Roberrt Hays) warns, “Now the s**t’s gonna hit the fan,” followed by a crude but hilarious scene of exactly that happening. By comparison, McFarlane’s excrement scene is heavy-handed, uninspired, and unfunny.

    But some of McFarlane’s work IS inspired: the opening scene with the Jewish kid, the appearance of Ted on the “Tonight” show with Johnny and Ed, and the use of TV’s “Flash Gordon,” Sam Jones. For those who don’t remember, Jones got that part based on blond hair, great pecs and limited acting ability (like many actressses, then and now)…his career pretty much tanked after that. In “Ted,” Jones playing himself, lampoons his attributes and achiements–or lack of same–with great good humor. If this very real talent for self-parody were to light a little fire under his stalled career, I’ll be the first to applaud.

    To wrap up: yeah, parts of “Ted” are gross, and unnecessarily so. But some of the responders on Marshall’s blog (who have NOT seen the film) are very quick to dismiss it as a symptom of a Godless, disinetgrating society. Not necessarily so! In many ways, we have lost ground: common civility is beating a fast retreat, the words “sir” and “ma’am are seldom heard (unless you’re dining at Chick-Fil-A, whose CEO, by the way, has said and done nothing wrong–and I say that as a vocal defender of the rights of my gay friends), and crude langauage issues regularly from male AND female mouths–remember when you’d NEVER hear a girl drop an “f-bomb”?

    But there IS a trade off. I’m old enough to remember “colored” and “white” drinking fountains, and almost old enough to remember when people were lynched for not knowing their “place.” And, yeah, ugly words such as “f–k,” s–t,” and “c–k-s—-r” have gained common usage in our language–but they are not nearly as obscene as certain other words that are now largely frowned upon, words such as “nigger,” “fag,” “kike,” or “retard.” Society advances in some respects, deteriorates in others–and who is to say whether the good outweighs the bad? Not me, not Marshall, and not anyone else reading this blog.

  20. Johnwer August 1, 2012 at 5:40 pm #

    I loved the movie it was hilarious everybody should see it

  21. Characterless August 4, 2012 at 10:34 pm #

    Ok, I didn’t exactly went to see this movie but I watched it anyway and I have to say I laughed little. Opening scene with Jewish kid was not so funny as I’m not from USA but from Europe and where I live we don’t frown upon different colored people but upon fat people such as myself and actually got bored. I especially hated girlfriend and the way she acted and while watching remembered some picture about girl who fell in love with boy because he was different, liked comic books, but he changed for her and then she dumped him for this change. Well, concept is different but I hope you get what you mean. Falking Teddy-Bear was part of her life for 4 years and helped her a great deal I’m sure. So why kick him out so sudden. I really didn’t like humor of the whole movie and it was so horribly predictable that I was bored as soon as problems started to arise.
    I’m not native English-speaker but even so I have some sort of taste in movies…. This movie however was not good even for American standards.
    Thank you.